I started going hiking.
Hiking with club members that I get along with gives me a sense of joy and unity.
At first, I didn't know anything about hiking, but as I continued my skills and physical strength improved a lot.
Studying what mountains other people hike and how doubled the fun as I learned tips and techniques. As I have gained experience, I have also collected the equipment necessary for hiking, and it is fun to look at hiking clothes and boots and find what suits me. Sometimes I see news about accidents on the hiking trails, but my quest for safe and enjoyable hiking experiences continues.
I started having sex.
Having sex with partners that respect me gives me a sense of joy and unity.
At first, I didn’t know anything about sex, but as I continued my skills and physical strength improved a lot.
Studying how other people enjoy sex through ‘A Room of Ones Own’, doubled the fun as I learned tips and techniques. As I have gained experience, I have also collected the equipment that can satisfy my desires, and it’s fun to try out new things and find what suits me.
As it has always been, some people still clamour about “purity and chastity” in regards to women’s sexual desires, but my quest for safe, warm and enjoyable sexual experiences continues.
Warm-up exercise: Rejecting double standards
‘Sexuality’ in an important topic that we should all take time to find, explore and implement in our daily lives.
In reality, however, women are often expected to act as if they don’t know anything about sex (they don’t receive sufficient sex education), that they’re not interested in sex (Female singers in idol groups are expected to show sex appeal through their expressions and gestures but are criticized the second they reveal any experience with love, sex or sexual desire), in order to be considered ‘decent women’.
The dichotomy between virgin and whore, based on a social, cultural and religious background that paints women who actively show sexual desires as being loose, promiscuous, or dirty, makes it difficult for women to express and pursue their sexual desires. How long will it be this way?
It’s time for all women to be given the opportunity to acknowledge and explore their sexual desires. If we all choose to take on the mantle of promiscuous woman we can reject the double standards that seek to divide us.
It's not wrong or shameful to talk about sex, share information, and seek out pleasure.
Practice : Responding to Desire
In my last article "First Sex Tutorial", I explained that the first condition for your first time is what “you want”. In fact, this condition is also essential for your second and third times having sex. In relationships with fixed partners such as lovers and spouses, we have to ask the same question every time. Ask yourself 'am I turned on', 'do I want to do it', and 'do I enjoy it'.
If you want to have more enjoyable sex, I recommend you also consider more specific conditions. Decide what it is you "dislike" and "don't want to do" as well as what you like.
The key to leading enjoyable sex is to know and practice your own desires well. Be confident to say you don't like the things you don't like. Don't allow anything you don't consent to or don’t want to do, and take care of yourself.
Tip : Start out Solo
The simplest way to discover your sexual desire? Masturbate!
The fastest and most effective means of sexual satisfaction for women is masturbation. Through masturbation, you can feel and learn the hidden senses of your body in advance before sex. Knowing your erogenous zones, your favorite position, and your favorite parts exactly can increases your satisfaction if or when you do have sex with a partner. If you are interested in your body, explore every corner, touch it thoroughly, you will definitely live a much happier life.
The most important spot in the process of drawing a pleasure map of the body through masturbation is definitely 'the clitoris'. We need to understand the clitoris properly to get acquainted with the orgasm.
In a 2018 study in the U.S, 52,000 people were asked about their sex lives, with 95% of straight men answering that they experienced orgasm in almost all sexual encounters, but only 65% of straight women able to say the same. This is because the clitoris is easily ignored and overlooked during heterosexual sex, which usually focuses on penetration.
The clitoris is a body organ that exists only for pleasure. It is a delicate and sensitive area that cannot be compared to men's genitals, and it should be stimulated very carefully. Each person’s vulva and clitoris looks different, and the way they should be stimulated is different. Especially if you rub it roughly like in pornography, it will only hurt and not be pleasant at all.
If you're looking for fun sex with an orgasm, get an understanding of your clitoris and find your preferred stimulation. Then it can be applied in relationships with other people. The discovery of the clitoris will be a sign of women's desire to lead sex in the new era. Let's talk louder and demand for our needs.
Summary
- To have enjoyable sex, you need to be aware of and understand your own desires
