It’s not a joke, it’s violence.

Objectives

A stealth fighter approaches the enemy without being detected by radar and launches a stealth attack. The uncertainty causes the enemy fear and may lead to a nervous breakdown. What if this stealth attack happened in your bed? A recently discussed type of sexual violence called stealthing has become a new fear for many.

It’s not just a lie. It’s violence.

What is stealthing?

Derived from the word stealth, which means carrying an action out secretly, stealthing refers to the act of secretly removing or damaging a contraception method during sex without the partner’s consent.

☑️ Typical examples of stealthing

Secretly taking off a condom during sex or poking holes in a condom

Not using a condom or preventing the partner from using a contraceptive method by lying about a vasectomy, infertility, or lack of STI

Stealthing inflicts severe physical and psychological damage on its victims. In addition to the risk of unintended pregnancy and STI infection, they suffer from the aftermath of betrayal by a trusted partner. They are often unaware of what has happened and deal with it too late, increasing the damage.

☑️ Why do they stealth?

A study found that 32% of women attending a sexual health clinic in Australia have experienced stealthing.

Researchers point out that the perpetrators of stealthing see it as their right, not violence. They justified their violence in several online communities by insisting that “men are hardwired to spread their seeds.” They even promoted stealthing by sharing tips on pressuring and tricking the partner into being stealthed.

Alexandra Brodsky, an attorney, analyzed that although the perpetrators had various motives, the common ground was ‘misogyny’ and ‘proving male sexual superiority.’

Is stealthing a sex crime?

Sex without consent is rape, a form of sexual violence that is clearly a crime. Thus, stealthing is also a form of violence as it involves refusing to use contraception without the partner’s consent. In order for stealthing to be considered a sex crime subject to criminal prosecution, an introduction of the consent-based model of sexual assault is necessary. However, many countries still rely on a coercion-based model of rape which requires proof of coercion, violence, physical force or threat of physical force in order for the act to amount to rape. This often requires the victim to submit proof of actively resisting the assault, and fails to address the mental and psychological harm caused.

Let’s take a look at stealthing cases around the world:

🇰🇷

South Korea In February 2021, a case in South Korea recognized stealthing as a civil offense violating sexual autonomy. The court ruled that “by removing the sexual protection barrier without consent and continuing to have intercourse, the defendant deceived the plaintiff who tried to prevent pregnancy and STIs and hoped for safe sex, and, as a result, violated the plaintiff’s sexual autonomy and personality right.” The defendant was ordered to pay 1 million won ($1,000) to the plaintiff in the suit for damages of 20 million won ($20,000). The current Korean criminal codes do not account for non-consensual actions without proof of assault or intimidation.

🇨🇦

Canada Canadian laws recognize stealthing as a new form of sexual assault. In 2014, a man had sex with a woman without telling the victim that he poked holes in his condom. As a result, the victim fell pregnant and underwent an abortion. The Supreme Court of Canada upheld an aggravated sexual assault conviction of the perpetrator and sentenced him to 18 months in jail.

🇨🇭

Switzerland In 2017, there was the first sentence for stealthing in Switzerland. A Swiss court gave the perpetrator a suspended 12-month sentence. But it was for contempt, not rape. The court convicted him of rape at first and handed down a suspended 12-month sentence, but the charge was later amended on appeal. The sentence remained the same, but the court recognized stealthing not as rape but as contempt.

🇩🇪

Germany In 2018, a man was found guilty of sexual assault for stealthing. The court sentenced the perpetrator to a suspended 8-month jail term, a fine of €3,000, and an additional fine of €96 to pay for an STI test for the victim. The prosecution for stealthing was possible because German laws adopt the consent-based model of sexual assault, where consent plays a major role in the qualification of sexual assault.

🇳🇿

New Zealand For the first time in New Zealand a man was convicted of rape in 2021 for removing a condom during sex. The man had repeatedly been told not to remove the condom however he did so and ejaculated into the women who then called the police. The man was found guilty of sexual violation by rape and sentenced to 3-years and 9-months in jail.

How to protect yourself from stealthing

Stealthing is violent, disrespectful, and deceptive by nature. It is not easy to notice that someone intends to deceive you. This means there are clear limits to preventing stealth from happening. However, these tips may help minimize the impact when it happens:

✔️Bring your own condoms

To prevent using punctured or expired condoms, bring condoms and have your partner use yours. It can allay the concerns about condom integrity.

✔️ Check the condom during and immediately after sex

Check your partner’s penis and condom during intercourse. After each ejaculation, don’t forget to check it out when your partner removes their penis from your vagina. It can be reassuring to confirm immediately after intercourse that the condom was properly worn.

✔️ Use birth control pills

Try Double Dutch (dual contraceptive use) using both condoms and birth control pills. It can prevent unintended pregnancy when the perpetrator attempts stealthing.

🤙

Don’t blame yourself No matter what the circumstances, being a victim of stealthing is not your fault. When it happens, seek help from relevant agencies, such as sexual assault crisis centers, to find out what legal actions you can choose and how to lessen the damage. Never blame yourself. No one deserves sexual violence.

Summaries

Stealthing refers to the act of secretly removing or damaging a contraception method before or during sex without the partner’s consent

Stealthing is not just a lie but violence that puts the victim in physical and psychological danger

Although there is no legal basis for criminal penalties against the perpetrators of stealthing in Korea, there is a movement for change